Monday, July 23, 2007
It feels great to be home again. today never go sch =X duh. over-exerted myself, i need some rest.
20 july 2007 =)
After attending lessons, i was excused from class from 1.1opm onwards. awaiting to go for leadership training camp. I was quite reluctant to go though. Don't know why, perhaps didnt have that camping mood bah. On the bus sat with leemeijia =) hehe have fun talking and playing on the bus. lightened my mood to the camp. When the bus finally arrived at laboror adventure centre ( erms dont know how to spell =x ), we were like.. woah so ulu worh! packed our bunks and realised that we can sleep on beds. not that bad afterall. went to form groups, met my group members and the 1st game started =) My facilitator is Yvonne and she appointed herman to be the leader for 1st game and he chose me as his partner. The game is supposed to go this way, both of us, together with other representives from other groups have to stand on stage. The others are being black-folded and we are supposed to shout for them to the stage and arrange them according to birthdates( from the youngest to the oldest) it was really tough when all of us are shouting for our team mates. the rule for this game is that representives are not supposed to go down the stage. Herman and i were sweating profusely after the game had ended. After we sat down, there were still other teams still playing. we observed them and Yvonne said that there was a girl sitting there not moving at all, though their team mates were searching for her. She said this is not the way a leader should be, instead a leader should stand up and search around. Anyway i fell down at the 2nd game and not a lot cared, that's the part when i began to tone down a bit.
The rest of the day was sort of lecture, teaching us what are leadership qualities, asking us to create our own visions and etc. there was a game at night. it is called the survival game. michelle took the initiative to step up to be a leader. In e event of the game, only one group survived. a lot of learning points to be picked up. A significant game! =)
There comes a horrible part, whereby we need to rank the top 3 leaders and bottom 3 leaders. I ranked myself last and get ranked by the others 2 times for 3rd top leader. I realised i have low level of confidence. This was a really very open conversation. Everyone have to be frank with one another. That is what i can't face and can't do as well, but i have done it. accepting feedbacks and everything.
Chatted with zhiying whose bed is next to mine! =) haha chatted till around 1am then sleep. duh!
21st July
As the clock striked 12am, birthday messages started to come in. In total, i received 36 messages on this special day of mine! =) thanks all of you for wishing me yeahs !
We learnt about conflict management and win-win situations today. It was kinda hard again, directly saying out your discomfort and everything in front of all. =) The most significant games are tug-of-war and road course today. tug-of-war teaches us what is 100% committment. There was once my team actually won. I really felt 100% committment at that time. I felt it and I'm gonna remember that kind of feelings. It's wonderful!
for road course, i volunteered to be leader and i know i didnt do well. at the start we were required to discuss plans as a team. Then actually i wanted to write down everything they have said, but in e end i saw this girl was writing down, then i thought it should be alright for her to write. in e end i dont understand her handwriting, then only leader can tell the facilitator what the group wants to go 1st, whether is it high elements, intermediate elements, rock wall and caterpillar. the duration to complete everything is 2hr30mins. i told the facilitator what we wanted to do, then she wants specifically who are going up for the elements, as max only 6 person can go up each one. In total, there are only 3 high elements, 3 low elements, 2 lanes of rockwall and caterpillar. For caterpillar, there is a special thing for it, 12 person must participate but only counted as 6 person has attempted it. Each of us have to complete 1 high element, 1 intermediate element, 1 rock wall or caterpillar! At 1 point of time, i didnt write down who are going up for one of the high elements and resulted in waste of time, thinking who are supposed to go up. Then i asked Yvonne to tell me and she refused. she just said 'can a hunter just keep aiming for targets but not shooting for the target? That was then i started thinking who are supposed to go up. For the last person to go up, i thought it was radolph but there was a voice in me saying it was me. but i asked radolph to try 1st, then radolph told me he saw yvonne shooking her head. then we thought that it was because there was no supporter for radolph, but in e end it was because i chose the wrong person. The last person is me. At that point of time, i knew that a lot of my team mates are pissed off. I went up to the high element, they cheered for me, i balanced myself slowly but there was this fear that was holding me back, but when i grabbed the 1st support, i advanced quickly and by the time i reached the group, there was this team mate said that hey girl, u made up for the time! they said i was very fast to come down!
Anyway, did i say that i nearly broke down when yvonne gave me that kind of face that she is disgusted by how i lead? however i held my tears back and continue to lead. my group came in 2nd, but i know deep in my heart, i didnt lead them well at all. yvonne said that i got lots of learning points from this event. havent got the chance to ask her much anyway. during the debrief for the game, the 1st person (girl) to say her feelings and experience cried. then this was the time i felt that i can no longer hold my tears back. When it was time for me to say, i cried. Yvonne said that i took very long to open up to my team mates, i agreed on that. It was not easy for me to open up to people. It's kind of hard for me, cos i dont wanna be hurt.
Many people cried during this camp, it has forced many to the point of breaking down. That was the limit.
22nd july
The most significant game is threading the rope through spider web, it is called silent spider web. it requires concentration. no one is supposed to touch the spider web and talk, only hand gestures are allowed. this is when honesty came in. i accidently touched a string and then i was stunned. before i could react, my fren said ' touched.' then we ran out of the site. as every time we break the rules, we must run out. at that time, i felt ashamed of myself. no honesty and no integrity. but towards the end of the game, this fren of mine and i saw the string being touched, i said touched very softly and one of the guys stared at me. i felt super innocent man. in e end the facilitator didnt see it and we are so close to the last box, people just dont want to face it. sigh. people are hard to please man.
Anyway towards the end of camp, after packing up the bunks and everything, we sat in the hall, listening to the song. the song is of great significant, though some lyrics are hard to hear. cos the hall is full of echo! anyway there was a bag of pebbles. we are supposed to present the pebbles as gems to the ones we wanna give =) it was significant man! nearly cried again. lol emotional time~ after being through so much with them, it's just cool!
Most significant and meaningful camp in my life. A camp that taught me a lot a lot! it really pushes me to the limit. I thank everyone that have involved in this camp~
i want to thank those who cared about me =) i know i must have worried you guys when i said i cried in the camp. thank all of you for supporting me yeah =)
Vented by lazygirlx
7/23/2007 03:15:00 PM